Cooking with Caterlink: Brexit Surprise

Sometimes it's good to see just how far you can push the definition of "food". We hope our Brexit Surprise helps you do just that.

Preparation time
None.

Cooking Time                       Serves
Forever at this rate.              A self-interested political elite.

Ingredients
52% Purity Pink Slime
Chernobyl Cherry Flavour Fortified Boost
Solid Meat Substitute
Liquid Meat Substitute
Carrot
Gentrificatiôn Brand Pie Base
Egg

Optional:
Decades of Resentment

Method

1.Mix the egg and the pink slime using that weird food processor you've always been told not to touch.

2. Strain the resulting mixture up to three times.

3. Add salt to taste.

4. Boil the solid meat substitute in the liquid meat substitute.

5. Laugh at how Caterlink is still getting paid to serve up this sort of crap.

6. Resume your serious work with an equally serious expression — a chef must never smile.

7. Keep boiling the solid meat substitute in the liquid meat substitute.

8. Make odd and creepy remarks and noises about the juiciness of the meat.

9. Keep boiling the solid meat substitute in the liquid meat substitute.

10. Okay that's enough —  stop boiling the solid meat substitute in the liquid meat substitute.

11. Add salt to taste.

12. Put the pie stuff on the pie base(???)

13. Use the fortified Boost however you want — I'm not here to tell you what to do.

14. Serve to hungry proles.

15. Hold up carrot and say "Oh this? I never quite got round to using it. Funny how things like that work out."


DISCLAIMER: This article is a spoof, and is in no way endorsed by, approved of by, affiliated with, formally or otherwise, Caterlink.