Prior to being fired, Director Comey headed the ongoing investigation into the SLT's connections with Russia, which was expected to uncover "significant evidence" of "collusion". An investigative dossier, written entirely in Comic Sans, is said to have gone missing from Comey's office. When Trash reporters attempted to gain access to ETC's headquarters, next to the first floor toilet in the English block, they were threatened with police action, shoved, and warned that they were "next".
The official reason for Comey's dismissal is the recent discovery of a chain of emails which detailed plans for ETC's fourth re-branding. Included in the "shocking" emails were a number of draft articles, said to contain language "far too fruity for the public". Student-English-department liaison and genuine Enid Blyton character Susie Bridgmington denied that ETC had any plans to publish satire in the future.
Comey's dismissal is said to have taken place in a dark boardroom. It is believed that the decapitated Head looked directly into Comey's eyes, pointed, and said "you're fired".
En route to
"First they came for the jellies, and I did not speak out because I went to Subway at lunch. Then they came for the Trash, and I did not speak out because I didn't write for the Trash. Then they came for the anarchists, and I did not speak out because I was not an anarchist. Then they came for me, and there was no one left to speak for me."