An (OFSTED) Inspector Calls

It has emerged that an OFSTED inspection is due to occur tomorrow (Tuesday). The inspection, which is taking place to either assert or refute Hampstead's current "good" rating, is expected to last just one day, with the school being able to request an additional inspection if they believe that an upgrade to the status of "oustanding" is called for.

Due to changes in operating procedure, OFSTED only provided a single day's notice of inspection; due to the Head's reliance on contriving situations to portray the school in a favourable light, teachers from across the school were summoned for an after-school meeting, where they were undoubtedly warned about the dangers of an untucked shirt, and the risk that an unlobotomized student may pose when interrogated by inspectors. Various Trash sources have confirmed that the meeting had the unfortunate side-effect of a school-wide cancellation of Period 6 classes, many of them A Level. So much for "every minute is a learning minute".

All we are left now is to speculate on what Her Majesty's Inspectors will uncover. Will they lament the disappearance of several motivational banners? Perhaps they'll curse the ugly (and expensive) bruise of plasticine and Lego that now occupies the former 'Approved Recreational Area #4'? In the unlikely event that they do more than take note of new planners-visible to mentions-of-the-word ratios, they might just notice how little the Head seems to care about the actual quality of learning at Hampstead School. But who are we kidding? It's OFSTED, whose priorities have never really been quality of learning.