Head Picks Out New Members of SLT

This image was taken of the Head during the Camden Planning meeting that decided the fate of the New Building. We came up with the below idea, but readers are welcome to suggest their own captions in the comments section below.

The Head has today announced the appointment (geddit?) of new staff picked out by yours truly. In a statement he remarked that the applicants had been developed 'within his headship' at the school, and said that he had found the candidates 'right under his nose'.

Some of the criteria expected in candidates for the job were said to include having a slippery quality, being able collect dust and germs, and an ability to be wrapped around the Head's finger.

In a Lord Sugar style, the Head was said to have sat at a desk and pointed at the contenders uttering the words "You're hired" (see photo).